The obvious, I suppose. But lately, it's been ten times worse. I blame it on my disorganization. My mom claims my room looks like a pig-sty, and well, if that's the case then my biology and chemistry study guides are somewhere in the mist of the pig-pen -- namely, my four walls. That narrows it down right? *sarcasm evident in voice* So. Tonight is going to be a Mission: Organization kind of night. Bedroom, closet, backpack, binders -- my life -- will soon look like the front cover of a home and gardens magazine. Let's hope it stays that way. *pauses a moment* *laughs*
2. Prayer. After prayer after prayer.
I've had the God-are-you-listening, my-prayers-are-bouncing-off-the-ceiling-and-smacking-me-in-the-face feeling for the past few days. It seems no matter how hard I try to get off of myself and onto God, I never do. Rather, the opposite. "Face down, this carpet tastes like coffee grounds, ground into my face now. And every angle is covered with just another Band-Aid." Matthew Thiessen, thank you for understanding.
My mom brought up the point that I need to give it to God instead of trying to do it by my own power. I have a hard time with not being in control of my future. I know His plans for me surpass anything I could ever dream of, but my faith is shaky, so my future is blurry. Why can't I just lay the future in His hands? It's already there anyway. I'm just fighting it. But why? There's nothing to fight.
3. Heart-jumbled.
My heart is all confused right now, thanks to a guy. A guy! I feel ridiculous. I've always been the kind of girl that has been proud to stand on my own two feet. Like that lyric in La La Land by Demi Lovato that says, "Who says I can't be single and have to go out and mingle?" Or at least I thought I was. I've been stuck on this guy for almost an entire year. My heart's holding onto him excitedly waving, him sitting by me, him grinning wide whenever I walk in the room. But I the rest of me says, "Seriously, Anna? Don't spend your whole life waiting for a guy that might not want to be waited on."
In conclusion, this post can be summed up in these lyrics:
"Oh where is my hairbrush, oh where is my hairbrush?!" Veggie Tales = essence of my childhood.
"So I'll stop searching for the answers, I'll stop praying for an escape. And I'll trust You, God, with where I am and believe that You will have Your way..." -Britt Nicole
"And when you find everything you looked for, I hope your life leads you back to my door. Oh, but if it don't stay beautiful.." -Taylor Swift
lists + lyrics = my life as of late.
how 'bout you?
