it's chapstick and chapped lips and things like..biology?

"Your illustrations always point out just what's wrong with me.  It's chapstick and chapped lips and things like chemistry..." - Relient K

Now you may find this lyric as complete and utter gibberish (another amazing RK song -- just sayin').  I, however, think it surpasses witty and right into the you-understand-teenagers-perfectly category.  Why?

1. I can never find any chapstick when I need it.  Instead, I find it when my lips are moisturized and it's of absolutely no use to me.

2. I have chapped lips all throughout winter.  The nasty kind that bleed when you accidently bite down too hard on them.  Yeah.  Ow.  Not looking forward to it.

And 3. In the song they're talking about chemistry, I know.  The kind of chemistry in relationships, not the class.  Yeahyeahyeah.  But right now, I'm hating biology.  So I just inserted it where chemistry is supposed to be.  I'm making an 87 in there right now, which isn't too thrilling when you're normally used to 96s and 97s.  And your teacher kind of creeping you out doesn't help much either.

But the funny thing is, all these annoyances don't seem to matter to me anymore.  Ever since I found Ephesians 6:15, God's been showing me all the little things.  As of late those include: beasting at my volleyball game last night, my crush sitting by me at church *blushes*, and a zucchini muffin from my best friend yesterday morning.  Sorry guys, I went off chasing butterflies for a moment.  Little things are worth the chasing, though :)

Back to the everyday annoyances.  They just roll off my back now.  It's like I could care less what people think of me anymore.  I mean, the worst they can do is call me a name.  Make fun of my faith.  Tell me I don't know how to have fun and that I'm a total geek.  The point is, we all have faults.  We could always point out something wrong with someone else.  And ourselves.  Maybe our mistakes are what make us beautiful.  Beautiful messes, cleaned up by The Janitor, name-tag reading, "Jesus". Now if we can only learn to look past the mess part and see the beautiful.

"I don't want to be perceived the way I am, I just want to be perceived the way I am."

once upon a saturday, i met my soul mate.

Once upon a time there was a girl named Anna who was in love with a voice.  Though she had heard it on the radio and had been sung to sleep by it on her iPod, she hadn't realized how amazing the guy behind the voice was.  Until Saturday.

Well, that 'amazing guy behind the voice' is Brandon Heath.  Now I could go on and on about how nice, cute, and talented he is.  But that's not why I love him.. not really.  No, I love Brandon because he seriously wants God's eyes.  He wants to see beyond the superficial stuff.  He wants to see the people inside.  He wants to share the grace that he was given.  That's why I love Brandon.

He sang all of his radio hits -- I'm Not Who I Was, Give Me Your Eyes, Wait and See, Love Never Fails, Your Love, and The Light In Me -- + more, all perfectly.

Ya know how concerts can be a total let down sometimes?  How the artist sounds one way on the CD you've obsessed over forever, and then you see them live and they...well...aren't so great?  Brandon wasn't anything like that -- he sounds exactly like he does on K-Love.  On my CDs.  I mean, a recording can't do this guy justice!

And like I said, he wants God's eyes.  I got to meet him afterward, and he was so... genuine.  There was an way-out-the-door-line of people waiting to meet him, and he was still trying to get to know everyone. When I had him sign my poster he was like, "Hey, nice to meet you.  What's your name?"  How awesome is that?  The poor guy has fans everywhere and at least two hours worth of signatures and photos, and he still took the time to write 'Anna' on my poster.  Not sure why, but that really stood out to me.

He likes country music and wears converse.  And He loves God.  So yeah.  We're soul mates.  The musical kind♥

i know the weight of this world can take you down like gravity.

I know it's hard to be strong.  I know it's hard to fight for what's right.  I know some days you just want to give up.  I know there's times when you question everything you've ever believed.  I know you wonder if this is for real.  I know... 'cause I've been there.

Some people get the idea that I'm "super Christian".  That I never do anything wrong or mess up.  That I have that mountain-moving kind of faith.  But, um, NEWSFLASH! ...besides the fact I've accepted grace and try to live by it, I'm just like everybody else.

I feel unwanted.

Alone.

Insecure.

Confused.

Mistreated.

Annoyed (sometimes to the point I want to rip my hair out).

And just plain angry.

The world can do that to you.  Rude people, a magnet falling on your head and breaking (yeah, that happened to me... don't ask..), having so many bruises from volleyball you look abused, getting in argument with your mom, having a biology teacher that grades so harsh you make a 75... they can bring you down.  Or maybe you're going through something that's worse -- a fight with a friend, anorexia, depression, losing a loved one.  I don't know what you're going through.  But He does.  And He hears you. He'll break open the sky for you.  Just ask.

dear picture day,

listening to: a penny loafer saved is a penny loafer earned by relient k
reasoning: penny loafers are pointless... just like picture days.  i think matty t. would agree.

the feeling is mutual.  i hate you too.  all you are is a beauty contest, but you mask the real beauty that a picture doesn't portray.  all you see from a picture is a fake smile and the top of a shirt.  can you say lame?  unfair?  completely opposite of what this person normally looks like?  and another thing, what if you decide to come around when a whole bunch of people are having a bad day? all you're gonna get is straight faces and annoyed glares. what if you ruin a girl's entire life all because her yearbook picture turned out exceptionally horrible?  or blind someone with your bright lights?  or cause a geeky person to stay home because they're so embarrassed of their pimples or glasses or something? don't you think of anyone but yourself?  do me a favor and replace yourself with an x-ray.  an x-ray that shows all the good qualities behind those awful pictures.  all the kindness, laughter, smarts, strength, persistence, hope, passion, and love.  the things that really matter -- the things the whole world deserves to know.  maybe then we'd realize that the name on your shirt, the zits on your face, and the number that's on the scale -- we'd realize all those things are worthless.  maybe we'd see that we're all beautiful to Him.  and that's all that really matters.

sincerely,
anna, the girl who wants x-ray vision

the little things.

quoting spongebob with your youth group girls in the car.  trying to sound gangsta with your best friend and hoping you don't spew oreo.  your crush accidentally bumping into you and your heart fluttering.  praying before a volleyball game and having your coach follow your example.  hearing the song
"dreamer" by sanctus real and knowing it was written just for you.  God coming through for you even after you've been pushing Him to the side.

these are things i take for granted every day.  my human eyes can only see the bad, when in all reality, i'm surrounded with good.  i see i don't get enough playing time -- but someone else now has a chance to shine.  i see that i only have a few true friends -- i could be completely friendless.  i see that i'm not rich -- but i have food and clothes and clean water and a place to sleep at night.  99% of the people in the world (literally) don't have at least one of these necessities.

God wants us to make the most of the little things -- and i found a verse to prove it.  paul said it like this in ephesians 6:15 --

...make THE MOST of every opportunity in these evil days.

that doesn't mean make the most of the ones you think are crappy.  it's easy to acknowledge an a+ on a test or buying a pack of sour patch kids at walmart for 98 cents; a rude comment or icy glare -- not so much.  but that verse didn't say make the most of some opportunities that come along.  it said every opportunity.  that means every single one.  turn an argument into a chance to compromise.  use a bad hair day to let girls know that they don't have to be perfect.  someone talking about you into "well, at least they're leaving someone else alone."

and slowly but surely, all those things will add up to bigger things.  contentedness.  peace.  confidence. hope.  looking more like Him instead of you.

maybe the little things aren't so little after all.

--a.s.

lost in a sea of faces.

I started school a few days ago meaning two things -- one) I now have my Mac and I'll be blogging more consistently and two) I am no longer on the bottom of the totem pole.  Holla sophomores! :)

So (obviously) school is the last place I want to be, but I'm glad to see my friends and peirs.  We haven't done much of anything except go over syllabuses and play name games, which was less than thrilling to say the least.  The poor freshmen are still pretty confused about everything -- especially locker combinations -- and the seniors all have bad cases of what we call 'senioritis'.  But, eh, that's high school for you.

I've been asking God to give me His eyes lately.  To look past the attitudes and egos and heavy eyeliner and Hollister shirts and see the actual person.  So far, I've failed epically, but I'm still trying, and I think that's what counts.

I didn't mention this to ya'll, but I don't have a single class with my best friend.  At first I wanted to scream up to God the question we all ask nearly every day in our hearts: WHY?!  Why would You do this?  I just made a true friend and now I'll hardly get to see her!  Why do You have to make being a teenager + a Christian harder than it already is?!  I just don't get it!  But as I reflected on my situation, my perspective slowly began to change.

See, I've always sort of been in someone's shadow.  I'm not a leader, not a follower, so I was never really 'seen'.  Sure people know me, who I am and what I stand for, but they don't see me.  I've always played the background, not the main role.  As much as I want to stand out, well, I never have.  And while I was pondering this, it hit me.

It's my time to shine.  God wants me to step out of the shadows.

So.  Here I am.  I'm no longer identified by who I hang out with or the role I play in this scene of my life.  I'm Anna and I'm His.

"I am not just a man, vastly lost in this world.  Lost in a sea of faces.  Your body's the bread, Your blood is the wine.  Because You traded Your life for mine."  --Kutless