dearest bloggers,

Hm.  Not sure how to say this.  It's kind of weird even typing it.  But I'll no longer be posting here on Sisters in the Savior.  I'm not deleting it -- I could never do that.  It'll still be here if you wanna visit.  Ya know, for old times sake or... something.

This blog is so dear to me.  I can't begin to describe how much it means to me.  It's allowed me to be myself when I didn't know who I was.  God knew I needed an outlet, and this... this was it.  God brought me close friends -- true friends -- that I'd asked Him to send me for so many years.  I'm so grateful for everything He's given me through this blog.  Everything He's taught me.  It will always be a piece of me, but me... isn't me anymore.

I have been revived.  I'm not trying to sound spiritual or holier-than-thou.  But God has awakened me from my sleep.  He's shown me my need for grace and that doing this by myself just isn't going to cut it.  He convicted me and told me I know nothing of holy... but I want to.  I want to crave His word like I crave pepperoni pizza from Little Caesar's.  I want pray like I breathe -- incessantly.  I want to hang out with Jesus like He's sitting right next to me.. 'cause He is.

So.  Starting on this new journey, I'm starting a new blog.  It's called "fanatical," inspired by the Lecrae song.

"I'm a F-A-N-A-T-I-C, fanatic!  I'll rep Christ till I D-I-E, fanatic!  I'm not extreme, I'm redeemed with faith to serve a God that's extremely great!  I'm a fanatic!"

Because life's too short to be anything but a fanatic.  A fanatic for Christ.

Any fanatics out there?

Love,
Anna

[forallthefanatics.blogspot.com]

tenth avenue north + andy mineo + lecrae.

"Jesus was a nice guy, but wasn't no friend to me.  My lips said I loved Him, my actions despised His reign.  I had my own agenda, I was my own king..." -Andy Mineo, "Formerly Known"

So.  Another reason my blog's name/address is changing.  I'm taking a step in my walk, and I wanted my blog to take a step with me.

It's kind of hard to tell ya'll this, but I think you've all been there in some point in time.  When you talked the talk, but didn't walk the walk.  Where everything you said was Jesus, but nothing you did was. Where your schedule was empty and there was still no room on the calendar for spending time with God.  That's where I was.  And it's not 'was' as in a year ago.  Five months ago.  Try four days ago.

I don't know what clicked, but when I listened to Tenth Avenue North's CD, Over and Underneath, something did.  The lyrics were just so worship-filled.  Every song was telling me how great God is, just in different words.  "Love Is Here" told me God isn't later.  He is right now -- in this moment.  Which lead to the thought, "Why am I waiting?  Why do I keep pushing Him to the side?"  Which eventually led to this post.

The answers to my questions weren't exactly reassuring.

Why am I waiting?
Apathy, complacency, laziness...

Why do I keep pushing Him to the side?
Because I think I have better things to do.

What can be better than God?  I don't know about you guys, but when I've experienced His presence, it's like a high that lasts for a week or two.  Events like church camp.  Winter retreat.  Concerts.  But that "high" wears off.  And I'm right back to where I started.  I make time for anything and everything, rather than My Everything being my schedule.  It's pathetic, really.  But I think a lot of us get caught in these ruts, where Jesus was a a nice guy, but wasn't no friend to me.  Where we determine our own fate and end up even more miserable than we were before.

"I had a dream that I was captain of my soul, I was master of fate.  I lost control and then I sank.  So I don't wanna take the lead, 'cause I'm prone to make mistakes..." -Lecrae, "Background"

I was blending in, not standing out.  I had become part of the crowd all over again, worrying what people thought of me, just wanting to be accepted.  I'd become complacent and apathetic, just like everyone else. Complaining about homework, rolling my eyes at people's faults instead confessing my own.  That's not how it's supposed to be.  We were made to be light in a dark world.

"I was made to light it up, city on a hill top.  And I know the Only Way so hit me when you feel lost.  So put your shades on, you know lower your frames.  'Cause when His glory shines, you gon' lower your frame..." -Lecrae in "Let There Be Light" by Andy Mineo

can you help me out with my chemistry?

Both kinds.  One being the actual subject and the other being the guy-girl thing. *heavy sigh* I'm utterly confused.

See, the only reason I decided to take chemistry this year is because all of my junior friends raved about Mrs. Elrod and how easy she made it seem.  Well, um... SHE MOVED.  And now I have a chemical engineer that doesn't have a teaching degree.  He's really nice and he tries extremely hard, but he's just.. not a teacher.  When he tries to answer a question I have, I am pushed even further into this endless hole of confusion.  Numbers and elements swirl around in my head, never finding the correct place on the paper. We're discussing different kinds of reactions right now.  Here's what's called a synthesis reaction, or a reaction where two elements combine to form a new compound.

anna + chemistry ----->  F

The only reason I'm passing that class with an A (yes, I'm a nerd -- sorry to disappoint) right now is because all the homework grades are participation.  I don't know what I'm going to do when the next test rolls around.  The last test didn't turn out so pretty.  I made a 75... with a curve and two bonus points. *head/desk x 10*

Then there's the guy-girl thing...

So.

There's this guy (obviously..).  He loves God and Lecrae and drives this old-but-not-too-old-just-perfect pickup truck.  I'm good friends with his sister and his little brother and I have a continual joke-argument about this football play.  He waves at me, says hi, and always seems to be around when I am.  He's sat by me when their were plenty of open seats and when he looks at me, his eyes are always smiling like "I know something you don't know."  But it hasn't gone further than that.  Mainly because we're both shy.. or because he doesn't like me?  I mean, when a guy likes a girl, doesn't he do something about it?  Well, I guess he sort of has.  And I didn't give him a clear answer.  Or any answer.

He asks nicely, "Anyone sitting here?"

"No," I say, barely forcing the word out of my mouth.

We sit there in silence.  He's probably thinking "She's not into me" and I'm just happy to be in his presence.

Another instance.  Me and few friends from youth group are sitting around the table talking.  I talk to Abbey and Courtney and Elliot, but I can't bring myself to talk to him.  Because talking to him requires eye contact and eye contact means that feeling you get after you drop down the first hill on a roller coaster. And that feeling goes straight to my brain and jumbles up all the letters, words, and sentences in my head. So just don't look at him -- problem solved, right?  Wrong.  'Cause then he thinks I don't like him.. and I really, really do.

I love his voice and that it reminds me of warm, maple syrup.

I love his wittiness.

I love how he wears the same pair of khaki shorts nearly every Sunday.

I love that his favorite Poptarts are the cinnamon ones, just like me.

I love the way he says my name.

I love how when we're together, I feel like we could do anything.

I love that he loves Jesus.

But he doesn't know that.

Because I'm failing chemistry -- both kinds.

"i just wanna be like You"

"He will use the concert/trip to teach you something important, so be prepared to learn."

This was advice from my dear friend Kathryn, letter-form (the most sincere form of communication, jussayin').  Little did I know, she was right.  But not about the topic she's thinking of.  No, my lesson was on focus.

See, I went on this trip with a few wishes, daydreams -- whatever you want to call them -- tucked in my pocket.  My crush was on this trip, and I was hoping to catch his eye.  I'm not the flashy kind of girl, and I'm not overly flirty.  I'm content watching from a distance, pondering all these things in my heart.

But just because I don't show my 'like' for someone doesn't mean I don't think about them.  Doesn't mean I don't enjoy a smile meant just for me, or a "Hey Anna!".  Doesn't mean that person wasn't my focus. Because he was.  Until now.

For those of you who are big time Lecrae fans (memememe! :)), you know how awesome a role model he is for us teenagers that are learning to pursue Christ.  Well, he's not just an awesome role model -- he's an awesome preacher.  I know God gave him the words because it was like they were gripping my heart; they weren't flat like usual.  He talked about how the world's like a sandbox and how you can drink sand all day long, but it's just going to make you more thirsty.  And how if you're not drinking in Jesus, you're still going to be thirsty.  He said Jesus can't be a part of your life.  He has to be your life.  And in that moment, I knew I needed to make Jesus my life, not just a piece of the puzzle.  Because He's the glue that holds the pieces together.  Not a boy.  Not my social ranking.  Not the amount of money in my pocket.  JESUS.

And yet, I can't seem to find ten minutes in my day to spend with Him.  He's lucky to get a prayer at the end of the day, memorized and droning.  I think more about a guy than I do The Guy.  More about questions on my homework than The Answer.  More about this world than it's Creator.   It's pathetic and "I'm afraid that this complacency is something I can't shake."

I want Him to be my focus, but how can He be when I won't put forth the effort?  I seriously need to reevaluate myself and see where God is.  'Cause right now, I'm like me.  And me is tired of apathy.  Tired of being ineffective.  I don't want to be like me.

"I just wanna be like You -- walk like, talk like, even think like You.  The only one I could look to.  You're teachin' me to be just like You.  I just gotta be like, like I just gotta be like You..." -Lecrae

lists + lyrics.

Let's begin, shall we? :)

1. School No organization skills whatsoever.
The obvious, I suppose.  But lately, it's been ten times worse.  I blame it on my disorganization.  My mom claims my room looks like a pig-sty, and well, if that's the case then my biology and chemistry study guides are somewhere in the mist of the pig-pen -- namely, my four walls.  That narrows it down right? *sarcasm evident in voice*  So.  Tonight is going to be a Mission: Organization kind of night.  Bedroom, closet, backpack, binders -- my life -- will soon look like the front cover of a home and gardens magazine. Let's hope it stays that way. *pauses a moment*  *laughs*

2. Prayer.  After prayer after prayer.
I've had the God-are-you-listening, my-prayers-are-bouncing-off-the-ceiling-and-smacking-me-in-the-face feeling for the past few days.  It seems no matter how hard I try to get off of myself and onto God, I never do.  Rather, the opposite.  "Face down, this carpet tastes like coffee grounds, ground into my face now.  And every angle is covered with just another Band-Aid."  Matthew Thiessen, thank you for understanding.

My mom brought up the point that I need to give it to God instead of trying to do it by my own power.  I have a hard time with not being in control of my future.  I know His plans for me surpass anything I could ever dream of, but my faith is shaky, so my future is blurry.  Why can't I just lay the future in His hands? It's already there anyway.  I'm just fighting it.  But why?  There's nothing to fight.

3. Heart-jumbled.
My heart is all confused right now, thanks to a guy.  A guy!  I feel ridiculous.  I've always been the kind of girl that has been proud to stand on my own two feet.  Like that lyric in La La Land by Demi Lovato that says, "Who says I can't be single and have to go out and mingle?"  Or at least I thought I was.  I've been stuck on this guy for almost an entire year.  My heart's holding onto him excitedly waving, him sitting by me, him grinning wide whenever I walk in the room.  But I the rest of me says, "Seriously, Anna?  Don't spend your whole life waiting for a guy that might not want to be waited on."

In conclusion, this post can be summed up in these lyrics:
"Oh where is my hairbrush, oh where is my hairbrush?!"  Veggie Tales = essence of my childhood.

"So I'll stop searching for the answers, I'll stop praying for an escape.  And I'll trust You, God, with where I am and believe that You will have Your way..." -Britt Nicole

"And when you find everything you looked for, I hope your life leads you back to my door.  Oh, but if it don't stay beautiful.." -Taylor Swift

lists + lyrics = my life as of late.

how 'bout you?

quotes.

*note: another honors english II assignment.. see, we have these weekly 'journal entries' and i'm beginning to enjoy them. ssh ;)

I love Bible verses.  They're God's words to us; pieces of the most genuine love letter ever written.  It would be crazy-difficult to pick just one.

So instead I'm going with a lyric that I've always found ingenious.  Kudos to Matthew Thiessen of Relient K.

"I know to live you must give your life away."

^ It never ceases to make me think and yet, at the same time, it spills -- spells -- out everything.

My life is mine, yes.  But really, no it isn't.  I'm the one living it, but then again, am I really living?

See, to live -- really live -- you have to know God.  I can't imagine not knowing Him.  Life is so hard with Him, life without Him must be torturous.  See, when you give God your life, you're actually getting your life.  The life that you were meant to live rather than the one you were given.  Rather than trying to navigate through the rejection, anger, hurt, and frustration, you can let God take the wheel.  Sure, life's still going to be tough, but let's face it, that's life.  But instead of being brought down by the heavy loads life packs on you, you can run free and enjoy the little things like your favorite song on the radio or cake batter ice cream from Coldstone.  When you give you life to God, you're exchanging it for hope.  Peace. Happiness.

I'm glad I made the trade♥

You're the song when my heart is singin'...

"... it's Your love.  You're the eyes to the blind man, You're the feet to the lame man walkin'.  It's the sound of the people singin' it's Your love!" -Brandon Heath

Isn't being close to God the most magical feeling ever?  I've been so excited just for life lately.  It's like something clicked.  Mainly because of these verses (kudos to Bro. Jason, my pastor).

And I pray that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts, living within you as you trust him. May your roots grow down deep into the soil of God's marvelous love; and may you be able to feel and understand, as all God's children should, how long, how wide, how deep, and how high his love really is; and to experience this love for yourselves, though it is so great that you will never see the end of it or fully know or understand it...  [Ephesians 3:17-19]

That's crazy love.  Crazy.  GOD, Who is perfection in every way, loves ME, the klutzy, silly, lyric-quoting girl that I am.  He loves that I love Relient K and rainstorms.  I screw up on a daily basis, and yet, He loves me just as much as He did the day before.

The same goes for you.  Whether you play guitar or catch softballs.  Listen to Beethoven or Lecrae. Blonde hair, brown hair, red hair, black hair, blue hair.  Converse and blue jeans or a pleated skirt with an Oxford. And everything in-between.  He looks at you as a whole, good and bad alike, and thinks, "Wow. Bleah's vintage looks are so unique.  I love that about her."  and "Katie's Beatles-obsession is just great. Gotta love my Katie."  Even "Kathryn's laughing again.  Isn't she beautiful?"  Kind of leaves me in awe.

Recently, His love has looked like this to me:

- giving a speech and not freaking out for once in my life
- finding a letter in the mailbox from my best friend Kathryn
- realizing my 16th birthday is only one month away (give or take a few days)
- dunking Oreos in milk and watching Route 66 every afternoon
- 'the best thing' coming on my Pandora and jamming out to it in English class
- having a heart-to-heart with Callie, a close friend in my youth group
- my crush waving at me with the goofiest, most fantastical grin on his face

God's giving me a little insight about the little things -- and I'm running with it.  Seriously, the little things are everything.  They're Him giving us a glimpse of hope right when we need it.  And I'm loving it.

What does His love look like to you lately?

we were never abandoned.

As everyone knows, Sunday was the 10th anniversary of 9/11.  Not that I'd call it an anniversary.  Those are usually something to celebrate.  This isn't worth celebrating...not even close.

Ground Zero sounds kind of intriguing if you don't know what it is.  What happened there.  And if you do know, it's still a mystery if you're not a native New Yorker.  Sure, you've seen the CNN footage of the planes crashing, the towers collapsing, the aftermath.  All at Ground Zero.  But we'll never really understand.  Not really.  Because we weren't there.  We didn't feel the tower quake or see the flames angrily rushing towards us.  We didn't surrender our lives hoping to save another's.  Most of us were only in kindergarten or first grade, which left us oblivious to the tragedy that was unfolding before our nation's eyes.

If you lost a parent, relative, friend in 9/11, my heart goes out to you.  And I'm saying that because, honestly, I can't find the words to say.  I won't pretend to know what you must've felt or what you're still going through, because I don't.  I won't say, "I'm sorry", because sorry could never cover it.  But I will say this.

We were pressed hard on every side.

But we were not crushed.

We were struck down.

But we were not destroyed.

We were perplexed.

But we didn't despair.

We were persecuted.

But WE WERE NOT ABANDONED.

[from 2 Corinthians 4:8-9]

God was there.  His heart was breaking at the sight.  But He brought something beautiful out of it.  A nation pulled together.  Strangers became shoulders to cry on.  Enemies became friends.  Innocent people lost their lives to stop that fourth plane from demolishing our nation's capital.  Fearless firefighters, policeman, and bystanders forgot about themselves, and because of that, they will forever be remembered. If that's not God, I don't know what is.

I've shouted up to God, furious the He allows disasters like 9/11 to happen.  I've done it over and over and over.  I probably will again.  But He has a purpose for everything.  And that purpose is Jesus.

If nothing bad happened, everyone would be happy.  We wouldn't be searching for something beyond the ordinary, because the ordinary would satisfy us.  We wouldn't need a glimpse of hope, because everything around us would be hopeful.  We wouldn't need grace, because it would be a common act people performed day to day.  But it's not like that.  We need something beyond this world.  We need hope that tomorrow is going to be better.  We need grace because no one will grant it.  If disasters ceased to exist, we wouldn't need Him.  But the fact is, we do.  We desperately need a Savior.  Someone who will take our hand and walk beside us.  Someone who will give grace when we don't deserve it.  Someone who will never, ever leave.  And that someone is Jesus.

to all the dreamers.

*note: this was an actual honors english II assignment.. and i actually enjoyed it.  HA!

Some people would call me a dreamer.  I still believe in love at first sight, that laughing on a park bench doesn't only occur in Taylor Swift songs, and "happily-ever-after" isn't just at the end of fairy tales.  Hence why I'm labeled, "dreamer".

But I'm not a typical dreamer that has every detail put in its perfect place.  My dreams are only bits and pieces, random inklings scattered across my life.  Some of my dreams are written in notebooks, others on my bedroom wall, and even more are hidden in my heart.  Like I said, I don't have the specifics planned out, which isn't helping, seeing as this assignment is supposed to be predominantly descriptions...

Anyway, fast forward five years from now.

I'll most likely be sleep-deprived and extremely grumpy, seeing as I just pulled an all-nighter to ensure and A on my midterm.  My hair will be swooped into a concoction of hair, ponytail holders, and bobby pins and I'll be sporting sweats and my favorite pair of converse.  Though I've brushed my teeth ten times over, Colgate refuses to cover the smell of my coffee breath.  I sigh and hurl my messenger bag over my shoulder, pushing my appearance aside.  All that matters right now is this test.

Not a very pretty picture, I know.  But I'm determined to make something of myself, even if I'm not sure what that something is yet.

Travel five more years down the road...

I'll be happily married to a guy with dazzling eyes that loves God with all his heart.  We'll live in a white two story with navy blue shudders that we built ourselves.  He'll play catch with our son in the front yard even thought the glove will barely stay on his tiny hand.  Our little girls will sing "Jesus loves me" on the way home from church, and he'll smile and squeeze my hand, content with the life we've made for ourselves.  When we both can't sleep, we'll make hot chocolate and read the Psalms aloud.  Our love will grow stronger as our love for Christ grows stronger.

Call me overly optimistic.  Tell me I need a reality check.  But I believe God has an amazing story written just for me -- the girl named Anna -- the dreamer.

"I'm still a dreamer, a believer.  Yeah, I've lost my faith in so many things, but I still believe in You.."  -Sanctus Real

i know the weight of this world can take you down like gravity.

I know it's hard to be strong.  I know it's hard to fight for what's right.  I know some days you just want to give up.  I know there's times when you question everything you've ever believed.  I know you wonder if this is for real.  I know... 'cause I've been there.

Some people get the idea that I'm "super Christian".  That I never do anything wrong or mess up.  That I have that mountain-moving kind of faith.  But, um, NEWSFLASH! ...besides the fact I've accepted grace and try to live by it, I'm just like everybody else.

I feel unwanted.

Alone.

Insecure.

Confused.

Mistreated.

Annoyed (sometimes to the point I want to rip my hair out).

And just plain angry.

The world can do that to you.  Rude people, a magnet falling on your head and breaking (yeah, that happened to me... don't ask..), having so many bruises from volleyball you look abused, getting in argument with your mom, having a biology teacher that grades so harsh you make a 75... they can bring you down.  Or maybe you're going through something that's worse -- a fight with a friend, anorexia, depression, losing a loved one.  I don't know what you're going through.  But He does.  And He hears you. He'll break open the sky for you.  Just ask.

the little things.

quoting spongebob with your youth group girls in the car.  trying to sound gangsta with your best friend and hoping you don't spew oreo.  your crush accidentally bumping into you and your heart fluttering.  praying before a volleyball game and having your coach follow your example.  hearing the song
"dreamer" by sanctus real and knowing it was written just for you.  God coming through for you even after you've been pushing Him to the side.

these are things i take for granted every day.  my human eyes can only see the bad, when in all reality, i'm surrounded with good.  i see i don't get enough playing time -- but someone else now has a chance to shine.  i see that i only have a few true friends -- i could be completely friendless.  i see that i'm not rich -- but i have food and clothes and clean water and a place to sleep at night.  99% of the people in the world (literally) don't have at least one of these necessities.

God wants us to make the most of the little things -- and i found a verse to prove it.  paul said it like this in ephesians 6:15 --

...make THE MOST of every opportunity in these evil days.

that doesn't mean make the most of the ones you think are crappy.  it's easy to acknowledge an a+ on a test or buying a pack of sour patch kids at walmart for 98 cents; a rude comment or icy glare -- not so much.  but that verse didn't say make the most of some opportunities that come along.  it said every opportunity.  that means every single one.  turn an argument into a chance to compromise.  use a bad hair day to let girls know that they don't have to be perfect.  someone talking about you into "well, at least they're leaving someone else alone."

and slowly but surely, all those things will add up to bigger things.  contentedness.  peace.  confidence. hope.  looking more like Him instead of you.

maybe the little things aren't so little after all.

--a.s.

you ARE beautiful.

I know you've heard it a million times, and each time you don't believe it.  I know that it means nothing coming from me, but here's the thing.

It's the truth.

I don't care if you're a size one or a size ten.  If you're super tall or a munchkin from The Wizard of Oz.  If your hair is blonde, brown, red, black, or some crazy awesome color like neon pink.  If you have the latest trends or clothes from a consignment store.  If you're Dad's a millionaire or if the daughter of an average Joe.  If you're ingeniously smart or if you have to stop and think.  If you have a boyfriend or your single.

You ARE beautiful.

But if you still aren't convinced, keep reading.

Want nice skin?  God tells us that those who look to him are radiant, and that there'll never be shame on their faces. (Psalm 34:5)

Concerned about clothes? The lilies in the fields are beautiful, and they don't even have clothes.  So why so you be worried about the price tag on your shirts and the label on your jeans? (Matthew 6:28)

Worried about everything in general?  God said 'a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised' in Proverbs 31.  Does it say the skinny girls will be praised?  The ones with clothes from Abercrombie and Fitch?  The ones with a boyfriend?  NO!

It says that the God-lovers will.

hello: a post about guys.

"Every time I want to say hello, every time I want to stay, I go..."

This lyric is completely and wonderfully ingenious.  Just thought I should say that before I jump headfirst into this post.  Okay.  Now I can jump in ;)

I've written a few posts about guys, but none of them have really told you about my guy experiences (not that I've had all that many, haha).  But anyway, you're gonna hear a little more of Anna's mind than usual.

I'm not even going to try and act like I haven't had crushes, 'cause I have.  I've probably had at least 10 in my 15 years, not counting Jason Dunn, Matthew Thiessen, and all of those other amazingly blunt and witty artists out there.  And then of course there's Peter Pevensie, but, ya'll already knew that was coming...

The point is I like guys.  Whoa.  Did I just say that on a Christian blog?  Why, yes I did.  Because it's the truth.  A lot of Christian girls I know try to act like they've never had butterflies in their stomach or gotten all red when a certain guy comes around.  They're all 'I'm waiting for the right guy to come along and not looking at anyone else until he does'.

Well, for some of you that might be the case, but not for me.  Now I'm not telling you to not wait and to go have sex with some guy you think you're in love with.  Because you should wait.  I'm just saying that it's alright to like guys.  Thinking they're cute and cool to hang out with is fine...it's supposed to be that way.  But there is a difference bewteen liking and lusting.

Lusting is definined as a passionate or overwhelming desire or craving, or in my mind, more passion for a person than for God.  If a guy consumes your thoughts 24/7, if he's the name on your notebooks, your shooting star, well, to me, that's lusting.  He's become more important than your Savior.  And nothing should be more important than Him. (I believe He adressed that in the 10 Commandments).

I realized that I was lusting over a guy the other day, and I want it to stop.  There's a difference between daydreaming and thinking about constantly.  I noticed that all I think about is trying to impress him, hoping he'll talk to me.  And that's not the way it should be.  I'm supposed to love God with all my heart, mind, soul, and strenth (Matthew 22:37). Not some sophmore soccer jock.

So - there's my take on the whole thing.  And I know someone is going to ask this, so I might as well go ahead and answer.  Do you have I crush right now?  I do actually.  And I wish I had the guts to say hello.  Hence the song.  Hence the 'I like guys'.  Hence this post in general...

"maybe it's because you really didn't want to see him."

I know, I know. I am horrible, weak, and an absolute failure. What can I say? I'm addicted to blogging. It's because I feel comfortable here - I can say what I want without everyone thinking I'm some sort of creepy writer/artist person. So yeah. Back to the post.

In Prince Caspian - one of my favorite movies! - Susan asks Lucy why she didn't see Aslan. Lucy's reply?

"Maybe it's because you really didn't want to see him."

This hit me really hard. Lately, I've been feeling, sorta...distant from God. And maybe it's because I really don't want to see Him. I should be searching continually, looking for Him everywhere. And I just don't.

So. I'm gonna start looking for Him. In school, at home, at church, on Blogger - everywhere. I should want to see Him so bad that I can't keep myself from looking.

Much love,

anna :)

P.S. - I ditched Ned for Peter. Horrible, I know. But Peter's brave, smart, cunning, and cute. He's a keeper *wink*

the invisible war.

There's war that we can see. That's obvious. But what about the war we CAN'T see? The spiritual war the rages on every moment of every day. Are you prepared? Because as soon as your feet hit the floor every morning, satan says, "Alright. It's a new day. Let's go 'cause some misery." I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. If you're a follower of Christ, he hates you with everything in him. He wants you away from God. If not, he's trying to prevent you from ever knowing Christ. Don't let him. I'm sure all of you have heard about the Full Armor of God. And being teenagers, you're probably like, "This is pointless. It's not gonna get me anywhere." But let me be the first to tell you -- you're wrong.

Ephesians 6:13-17

Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God's righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

Notice the only weapon we have to fight with is the Bible, the sword of the Spirit. The other pieces of armor are there to protect us, but the only way we can fight back is with His word.

I struggle with reading the Bible. Believe me, I do. I use excuses like "I'm too busy" and "What does this even have to do with me?" But it has a lot to with me...and you.

So put on your armor. Read the Bible daily. Make it a priority. Satan's going to attack.

And with Him, you can't lose.

Love in Christ,

anna :)