it's chapstick and chapped lips and things like..biology?

"Your illustrations always point out just what's wrong with me.  It's chapstick and chapped lips and things like chemistry..." - Relient K

Now you may find this lyric as complete and utter gibberish (another amazing RK song -- just sayin').  I, however, think it surpasses witty and right into the you-understand-teenagers-perfectly category.  Why?

1. I can never find any chapstick when I need it.  Instead, I find it when my lips are moisturized and it's of absolutely no use to me.

2. I have chapped lips all throughout winter.  The nasty kind that bleed when you accidently bite down too hard on them.  Yeah.  Ow.  Not looking forward to it.

And 3. In the song they're talking about chemistry, I know.  The kind of chemistry in relationships, not the class.  Yeahyeahyeah.  But right now, I'm hating biology.  So I just inserted it where chemistry is supposed to be.  I'm making an 87 in there right now, which isn't too thrilling when you're normally used to 96s and 97s.  And your teacher kind of creeping you out doesn't help much either.

But the funny thing is, all these annoyances don't seem to matter to me anymore.  Ever since I found Ephesians 6:15, God's been showing me all the little things.  As of late those include: beasting at my volleyball game last night, my crush sitting by me at church *blushes*, and a zucchini muffin from my best friend yesterday morning.  Sorry guys, I went off chasing butterflies for a moment.  Little things are worth the chasing, though :)

Back to the everyday annoyances.  They just roll off my back now.  It's like I could care less what people think of me anymore.  I mean, the worst they can do is call me a name.  Make fun of my faith.  Tell me I don't know how to have fun and that I'm a total geek.  The point is, we all have faults.  We could always point out something wrong with someone else.  And ourselves.  Maybe our mistakes are what make us beautiful.  Beautiful messes, cleaned up by The Janitor, name-tag reading, "Jesus". Now if we can only learn to look past the mess part and see the beautiful.

"I don't want to be perceived the way I am, I just want to be perceived the way I am."

identity crisises & stuff like that.

No matter how hard to be something or someone we're not, we will never fully be them.  We can look like them, act like them, wish we were them (whoever them may be), but really, we're still us.

I've struggled with being myself since the beginning of freshman year.  Not only at school, but on Blogger as well.  I've wished I was prettier, smarter, outgoing, more liked, fashionable, a better writer...the list could go on forever.  I just kept finding faults in every detail of myself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I haven't been completely honest with ya'll about who I really I am.  I mean, all the messy details with my life.  I play up all the good stuff and hardly ever reflect on the crappy.  Occasionally I'll give you a piece of my heart, but it's never bad.

Truth is, if you knew me in person, my profile would sound a lot more like this:

I'm Anna, the insecure sophomore that's trying hard to go unnoticed as she walks down high school halls. I wish I could dance and eat 'like a lady', but no matter how hard I try, I still epically fail at both.  I argue with my parents frequently and have to ask God to forgive me a lot.  My heart beats really fast every time this junior soccer jock with amazing blonde hair comes around, even though he'll probably never see me in that light.  I don't sit in coffee shops and read like some bloggers or travel or anything super amazing.  I go to school, play volleyball, then come home.  Sometimes I do stuff with my youth group or have a sleepover with my best friend, but other than that, my social life is nonexistent.  I love blue eyes and rain and Oreos, and the only reason I tell you that is because really, you're the only ones that care.

^ Yeah.  That's if you knew me in real life.  But since you don't, I sound a bit more like this:

I would say I'm a typical teenager, because I am.  But at the same time, I'm far more than that.  I'm a child of God, a writer, a blogger, a volleyball player, a lover of converse, an avid Hawk Nelson fan (though my favorite band changes every so often), and a klutz whose name means 'one of grace'.  I'm Anna.

A lot cooler, right?  Well, the first paragraph was the real me.  No more identity crises, okay?  'Cause I know who I am now.  I'm Anna -- the one God made to be her.  Not the fashionista -- the one who wears rainboots with shorts.  Not the dancer -- the singer.  Not the popular one -- the one that reaches out.  Not someone who hides in the crowd -- the one that's meant to stand out.  That's who I am in Christ.

"they dissect everything we say."

Yet another Hawk Nelson lyric.  Haha, I'm a band skipper I 'spose.  I'll really, really like one band, but after I know every single lyric to all of their songs, I'll move onto another one.  Horrible, I know, but it's true :)

As Christians, it's almost as if everyone is continually examining our every move.  We can't do anything wrong without it going unnoticed.  You slip up and say a cuss word and everyone goes ballistic.  You put down someone and you're automatically a hypocrite that doesn't love anyone and hates the world. Lame, I know.  But it happens.  A lot.

Maybe I see it more 'cause I'm in public school.  I don't know.  I just feel like I have to be perfect all day everyday.  And you all know that's impossible.  So how do we take this constant criticism without blowing up and ruining our reps (not to mention our witnesses)?

Well, I found some verses that pretty much spilled it out for me.  God wants us to take it.  He wants us to love on them, even if they're everything but loving to us.  Hard? Yes.  Doable? Yes...with His help.

1 Peter 2:23 (this one was my favorite) - When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats.  Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.

James 1:2-4 - Consider pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish it's work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

1 Corinthians 13:6-7 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, and always perseveres.

So, on an ending note...

"You can take the one thing I have left, I'd give it all away for so much less.  Can even take the heart inside my chest, whoa, whoa.  You can take the one thing I have left, beat me to the ground and take my breath.  But you can't take who I am, whoa, whoa..."

[striving]

why can't i be me?

why do i watch others moves?

why do i want so badly

to walk a day in others shoes?

it's like i want a taste

of the glory or their fame.

but to God it's not for Him

it's simply all in vain.

i don't want to change my life

yet at the same time, yes i do.

i want to know what others feel

and do what others do.

i'm not talking about everyone --

just the few elite.

that are adored by everyone,

everyone they meet...

i'm not talking about celebs,

or people on t.v.

no, i'm talking about normal teens

the same as you and me.

so is it wrong to want attention?

is wrong to want to shine?

is it wrong to wish for once

that all of that was mine?

but then i feel so selfish,

to want to be accepted.

Jesus came, made no mistakes.

and still He was rejected.

this life is full of people,

striving for perfection.

that was me at one point.

...now i'm striving for heaven.

if i was brave i'd write a letter to the president...

If you ask me, Hawk Nelson is completely ingenious.  But lucky for you this post isn't about Hawk Nelson.  'Cause if it was, you'd be reading for the next 24 hours ;)

No, it's about standing up for what's right.  *crowd gasps*

How else do I put it?  CHRISTIANS ARE BABIES.  And you're thinking, "Um, Anna, you say you're a Christian, so technically aren't you calling yourself a baby...?"

Okay, I admit it.  I AM A BABY WHEN IT COMES TO STANDING UP FOR WHAT'S RIGHT.

"Christians, we're all afraid of fire.  We prefer to suck on pacifiers."

I've sat through many a conversation about homosexuality, abortion - you name it - and not said a word.  Sure, if someone gets me fired up or challenges me.  But until then, I'm quieter than a mouse.

"If I was brave I'd write a letter to the President and he would pass it to the leaders of our Parliament.  But for now I won't say nothing..."

So right here, right now I'm gonna tell you exactly what I think.  America is going down the drain.  Why?

1. HOMOSEXUALITY.  I don't care how much you 'love' each other.  It's wrong, nasty, and God blatantly tells us it's detestable.  (Leviticus 20:13)

2. ABORTION.  It's murder.  It just is.  There's no other 'nice' way to put it.  That baby is an innocent, living creature of God - someone who shouldn't be taken for granted.  I wrote my research paper on it last year, so believe me, I know my stuff when it comes to this.  (Psalm 139:13-14)

3. SEX BEOFRE MARRIAGE.  God tells us to save ourselves, to be pure.  Paul even encourages staying single if you can control yourself from lusting!  (1 Corinthians 7:2)

"Not to mention date rape, felony, and car theft.  Break it down and tell me what we got left."

Nothing.  We have nothing but a nation that has flushed morals down the toliet.  But as for me, I'm not gonna take it anymore.  I can't stand to let teenagers to wonder what's right and what's wrong.  Okay, so maybe I won't write Obama a letter.  But I'm gonna voice my opinion, put in my two cents.  No more doormat.

"As for now I'll start with something."

[songs: "Down in Flames" by Relient K and "Letters to the President" by Hawk Nelson]

quirks.

Lots of people start out their posts with definitions of what they'll be talking about, but eh, I didn't like what the dictionary said.  So I made up my own :)

quirk[s] - a trait or traits that make a certain individual unique.  Pretty good if I do say so myself.

All of us have quirks, ones we like and ones we don't.  I'll start off with the ones I like, or at least don't mind all that much.

1.  Lots of bracelets.  Not frilly, girly bracelets.  Like...silly bands, ponytail holders, my God-strong bracelet, and my 'Roma' one that I wear for Roman orphans.  I pretty much wear them everyday except Sunday, and that's only because mom says they look weird with my church clothes. :P

2. I talk with my hands.  I dunno why I do, I just do.  Once, I accidentally hit someone in the face *awkward silence* Sheesh, it was an accident you guys!

3. I watch the same movies and read the same books over and over and over.  But it's only when I reallllllly love them.  Take the Chloe series by Melody Carlson for example.  I LOVE those books.  And the Chronicles of Narnia movies.  Goodness, who knows how many times I've watched Prince Caspian...

Then those those quirks that I'm rather embarrassed to share, but I will, in this safe haven of my blog.

1. I sing continually.  I know it's annoying to some people, but I just can't seem to stop!  I sing under my breath, but even then they give me weird glances.  I think I might even sing in my sleep... :/

2. I talk really loud.  Like, only when I get really excited about things, but since I love the little things in life, that's pretty often.  My mom's always ssh-ing me, and I wonder if I'm actually as loud (and obnoxious) as I think I am.

3. I like T-shirts.  Erm, I hate this.  But instead of wanting to look cute and dolled up like most girls, I'm perfectly comfortable in jeans and T-shirt.  And sometimes, this can make me feel realllllly out of place.

But I'm learning to cope with all my quirks, because God made me in His image, just like He wanted me to be.  And if I'm good enough for Him, I should be good enough for me.

"So God created man in his own image.  In the image of God, he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

"Don't be afraid to stand out.  That's how the lost get found..."

anna :)

P.S. - Got any quirks of your own?  Well, of course you do...but will ya share 'em? ;)

standing out. and being proud of it.

Wow. I can't begin to describe how hard it is. How bad it hurts. To be different.

This is going to sound harsh, but...I sort of dropped down on the social ladder. On purpose. Instead of being the group next to popular (like I have been all my life), I am now in the 'odd' group of the freshmen class. And last year, in eighth grade, I was perfectly content with it. Happier than ever. It's drama free and very welcoming. They won't judge you for not dating, wearing Christian T-shirts, and being modest. They won't leave you out of slumber parties or get-togethers. Which I love. I love Shannon for her Christ-likeness, Katelin for her acceptance, Ashley for her wittiness, and Hayley for her sweetness.

But as I walk down the high school halls and people give me looks. Looks that say, "What a loser." and "Freaaakkk." And that's hard. I used to get grins from pretty much everyone I came in contact with. And sometimes, I feel like my old friends think they're doing me a favor by waving to me in the halls. Like, "I'll be nice and wave to the loser."

I thought standing out would be easy. Being different isn't bad, right? Wrong. It's easy to stand out, not so easy to be proud of it. Not easy at all.

see you at the pole :)

Well, I'm sitting in Word Processing. Have I mentioned we do absolutely nothing in this class? It's not a bad thing by the way ;) I get to catch up on blogging and even some homework in other classes if I'm not being lazy...which I am today, so I'm blogging :) We had "See You at the Pole" today, as did hundreds of others schools all across America. At 7 AM, there were about thirty-five kids standing and singing by the flag pole, all bright-eyed and bushy tailed. Okay, I was still half asleep, but ya know. So anyway, it was a total God-thing. All us high schoolers (and five or so middle schoolers) just standing there worshiping an amazing God. An awesome God. A totally indescribable, breathtaking God. It was so...reverent. And assuring. Assuring me that I'm not the only one taking the narrow road. Not the only one trying to live like Jesus. So yeah. It was one of those experiences I wouldn't mind re-living :) This post has a lot of smilies :) I've been really happy lately--and I don't even know why. I guess it's just God :) My facebook status the other day was "dear God, You make me smile for no apparent reason." And I'm still smiling...but I have a reason. Life is good, but eternal life is better. I'm not made for this place. I'm made for heaven. For Jesus :)

Blessings && smiles,

anna :)

... but that's just me

I trip and look back to see nothing but air...but that's just me.

I can multi-task! I can talk with my hands and accidently hit people in the face at the same time! But that's just me...

I'm the girl who notices George Washington's silhouette in the shower...but that's just me.

I make up random songs to Taylor the Latte Boy about my friends...but that's just me.


Sarah the soccer chick
She can score and she can kick
Sarah the soccer chick
She's awesome, she's awesome, she's awesome

I burst into High School Musical tunes in the middle of the hallway...but that's just me.

I wanna dance everytime Taylor Swift's "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" comes on...but that's just me.

I'm on the academic team, yet no one calls me a geek...but that's just me.

I hate history class, although I LOVE National Treasure...but that's just me.

I protess to the whole world that I'm a Jesus Freak...but that's just me. :):)

be their voice.

I’ve been wanting to do a post on this for a long time, but I knew it was risky, since it’s a very—uh, heated—topic. But it’s wrong. And we need to put an end to it. Over 100,000 babies lose their lives to abortion every single day. Sweet, innocent, living creatures of God. And I don’t like it when people tear them into tiny pieces and throw them in the garbage. You shouldn’t have that choice. PERIOD.

Even David knew how precious life was, and that was waaayyy before ultra-sound technology...Psalm 139:13 says, “For You created my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” Another reference—Genesis 1:27, “God created man in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female, he created them.”

This girl believes it with all her heart...

Do YOU?

I'm asking you to join me in a national protest against abortion on October 20, 2009. That's tomorrow. You only have to be silent for a mere 24 hours. For more info go to http://www.silentday.org/.

46 million babies have died. Be the voice they never had. Be the voice for the ones who still have a chance. SAVE A LIFE.