identity crisises & stuff like that.

No matter how hard to be something or someone we're not, we will never fully be them.  We can look like them, act like them, wish we were them (whoever them may be), but really, we're still us.

I've struggled with being myself since the beginning of freshman year.  Not only at school, but on Blogger as well.  I've wished I was prettier, smarter, outgoing, more liked, fashionable, a better writer...the list could go on forever.  I just kept finding faults in every detail of myself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I haven't been completely honest with ya'll about who I really I am.  I mean, all the messy details with my life.  I play up all the good stuff and hardly ever reflect on the crappy.  Occasionally I'll give you a piece of my heart, but it's never bad.

Truth is, if you knew me in person, my profile would sound a lot more like this:

I'm Anna, the insecure sophomore that's trying hard to go unnoticed as she walks down high school halls. I wish I could dance and eat 'like a lady', but no matter how hard I try, I still epically fail at both.  I argue with my parents frequently and have to ask God to forgive me a lot.  My heart beats really fast every time this junior soccer jock with amazing blonde hair comes around, even though he'll probably never see me in that light.  I don't sit in coffee shops and read like some bloggers or travel or anything super amazing.  I go to school, play volleyball, then come home.  Sometimes I do stuff with my youth group or have a sleepover with my best friend, but other than that, my social life is nonexistent.  I love blue eyes and rain and Oreos, and the only reason I tell you that is because really, you're the only ones that care.

^ Yeah.  That's if you knew me in real life.  But since you don't, I sound a bit more like this:

I would say I'm a typical teenager, because I am.  But at the same time, I'm far more than that.  I'm a child of God, a writer, a blogger, a volleyball player, a lover of converse, an avid Hawk Nelson fan (though my favorite band changes every so often), and a klutz whose name means 'one of grace'.  I'm Anna.

A lot cooler, right?  Well, the first paragraph was the real me.  No more identity crises, okay?  'Cause I know who I am now.  I'm Anna -- the one God made to be her.  Not the fashionista -- the one who wears rainboots with shorts.  Not the dancer -- the singer.  Not the popular one -- the one that reaches out.  Not someone who hides in the crowd -- the one that's meant to stand out.  That's who I am in Christ.

quirks.

Lots of people start out their posts with definitions of what they'll be talking about, but eh, I didn't like what the dictionary said.  So I made up my own :)

quirk[s] - a trait or traits that make a certain individual unique.  Pretty good if I do say so myself.

All of us have quirks, ones we like and ones we don't.  I'll start off with the ones I like, or at least don't mind all that much.

1.  Lots of bracelets.  Not frilly, girly bracelets.  Like...silly bands, ponytail holders, my God-strong bracelet, and my 'Roma' one that I wear for Roman orphans.  I pretty much wear them everyday except Sunday, and that's only because mom says they look weird with my church clothes. :P

2. I talk with my hands.  I dunno why I do, I just do.  Once, I accidentally hit someone in the face *awkward silence* Sheesh, it was an accident you guys!

3. I watch the same movies and read the same books over and over and over.  But it's only when I reallllllly love them.  Take the Chloe series by Melody Carlson for example.  I LOVE those books.  And the Chronicles of Narnia movies.  Goodness, who knows how many times I've watched Prince Caspian...

Then those those quirks that I'm rather embarrassed to share, but I will, in this safe haven of my blog.

1. I sing continually.  I know it's annoying to some people, but I just can't seem to stop!  I sing under my breath, but even then they give me weird glances.  I think I might even sing in my sleep... :/

2. I talk really loud.  Like, only when I get really excited about things, but since I love the little things in life, that's pretty often.  My mom's always ssh-ing me, and I wonder if I'm actually as loud (and obnoxious) as I think I am.

3. I like T-shirts.  Erm, I hate this.  But instead of wanting to look cute and dolled up like most girls, I'm perfectly comfortable in jeans and T-shirt.  And sometimes, this can make me feel realllllly out of place.

But I'm learning to cope with all my quirks, because God made me in His image, just like He wanted me to be.  And if I'm good enough for Him, I should be good enough for me.

"So God created man in his own image.  In the image of God, he created them; male and female he created them." Genesis 1:27

"Don't be afraid to stand out.  That's how the lost get found..."

anna :)

P.S. - Got any quirks of your own?  Well, of course you do...but will ya share 'em? ;)

oh where, oh where has my self-esteem gone?

Being a teenage girl isn't easy. At all. There's so much pressure to be pretty in the world's eyes.

And I'm not gonna lie. It's super hard not to want that. Attention. From cute guys. Or from any guys for that matter.

It's hard not to want to look perfect. To be perfect. Even Barbie dolls seem to say, "Don't you wish you were more like me?"

I've always been a tomboy, so I'm not very fashionable. Fashion to me is jeans, a T-shirt, and my converse.

And I know I'm not fat - I'm only a 127 pounds - but there are people way skinnier.

So as you can tell, my self-esteem is really low. Not that I'm proud to say it. But...it is.

So I've found some verses to help:)

Proverbs 31:30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.

1 Samuel 16:7 For the Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

WE WERE MADE IN HIS IMAGE! So if we put ourselves down, we're putting Him down. And I wouldn't ever want to hurt my Jesus.

So where do you find self-esteem?

'Cause I'm learning to find mine in Him♥

Love in Him,
anna :)

welp...

If you're wondering right now what 'welp' means, it doesn't mean anything. I just say 'welp' instead of 'well' although I've never used it on my blog until now. But it's more "me", ya know? Not that you needed to now any of this but I tend to ramble. I try not to on my blog though (: Anyway, I wanted to ask you girls (or guys...I don't think I have any guy followers, or not that I know of!) about what you'd like to see on my blog. Do you like the music on my blogPod? How about my posts? Are they too much about my world and not enough about yours? Everyone seemed to like the TAG idea, so I think I'm gonna start that study after fall break (which is next week for us). So yeah. Please comment and tell me what you want and what you think! I'm back up to 40 followers (Thanks Bleah for being my official 40th follower)! Actually over--I have 41! I'm so jazzed :D *Jumps up and down like an excited two year old* Yes, I am that immature (: But really, the fact that 41 people actually care about what I have to say...that makes me happy (: Since this is already a realllyyy random post, I'm gonna tell you what I'm doing/thinking/saying as of this very minute. 'Cause that's just what I do (:

In: Word Processing. (I've finish my work already, as usual...)

Thinking: About church tonight! Woo!

Singing: How to Save a Life - The Fray

Wondering: What Josh just whispered in Sarah's ear

Craving: Chicken fettucini from Olive Garden

Wishing: That I won't have to do my homework. Yeah, right (:

Blessings && smiles,

anna :)

... but that's just me

I trip and look back to see nothing but air...but that's just me.

I can multi-task! I can talk with my hands and accidently hit people in the face at the same time! But that's just me...

I'm the girl who notices George Washington's silhouette in the shower...but that's just me.

I make up random songs to Taylor the Latte Boy about my friends...but that's just me.


Sarah the soccer chick
She can score and she can kick
Sarah the soccer chick
She's awesome, she's awesome, she's awesome

I burst into High School Musical tunes in the middle of the hallway...but that's just me.

I wanna dance everytime Taylor Swift's "I'm Only Me When I'm With You" comes on...but that's just me.

I'm on the academic team, yet no one calls me a geek...but that's just me.

I hate history class, although I LOVE National Treasure...but that's just me.

I protess to the whole world that I'm a Jesus Freak...but that's just me. :):)

taggeddd :)

I was tagged by Buttercup, at Soaring on Wings like Eagles, about a week ago. But I never got around to doing it! So here it is...finally...

A Christian? All the way!
A good listener? Try to be.
A good friend? Yup, striving to be better and better.
Artistic? Yuh-huh :)
Funny? When I wanna be
Good conversation starter? Far from it. :P
Crazy? Most definitely.
Random? Me? Naw-duh :)
Communicative? Horrible at it.
Loving? I think so ♥
Clumsy? X10 zillion. I trip over thin air--and I'm not kidding!
Happy? Very :D
Athletic? Yup & yup
Excellent in school? Don't wanna brag--but yeah :)
An animal lover? I wanna be vet...I'd say so!
Sister? Yes ma'am!
Brother? Well, if I'm a sister, I can't be a brother, now can I?
Daughter? Yup, yup, yup
Son? See "brother" question :D
Caring? I hope people think I am. I try to be.
Technology challenged? Not really, but I'm not a techno freak...
Techno-freak? See question above (haha :D)
Respectful? Working on it...
A movie lover? YES!
Book Worm? Always.
Attentive? Sometimes--depends on who/what we're talking about...
Responsible? Most of the time--'cept when it comes to my messy room :P
Honest? Mainly. Try to be.
Fantastic? Idk...never been told that, but never been told I'm not either :)

And I tag...
Anyone who loves Jesus!

Till next time,
anna :)