identity crisises & stuff like that.

No matter how hard to be something or someone we're not, we will never fully be them.  We can look like them, act like them, wish we were them (whoever them may be), but really, we're still us.

I've struggled with being myself since the beginning of freshman year.  Not only at school, but on Blogger as well.  I've wished I was prettier, smarter, outgoing, more liked, fashionable, a better writer...the list could go on forever.  I just kept finding faults in every detail of myself.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I haven't been completely honest with ya'll about who I really I am.  I mean, all the messy details with my life.  I play up all the good stuff and hardly ever reflect on the crappy.  Occasionally I'll give you a piece of my heart, but it's never bad.

Truth is, if you knew me in person, my profile would sound a lot more like this:

I'm Anna, the insecure sophomore that's trying hard to go unnoticed as she walks down high school halls. I wish I could dance and eat 'like a lady', but no matter how hard I try, I still epically fail at both.  I argue with my parents frequently and have to ask God to forgive me a lot.  My heart beats really fast every time this junior soccer jock with amazing blonde hair comes around, even though he'll probably never see me in that light.  I don't sit in coffee shops and read like some bloggers or travel or anything super amazing.  I go to school, play volleyball, then come home.  Sometimes I do stuff with my youth group or have a sleepover with my best friend, but other than that, my social life is nonexistent.  I love blue eyes and rain and Oreos, and the only reason I tell you that is because really, you're the only ones that care.

^ Yeah.  That's if you knew me in real life.  But since you don't, I sound a bit more like this:

I would say I'm a typical teenager, because I am.  But at the same time, I'm far more than that.  I'm a child of God, a writer, a blogger, a volleyball player, a lover of converse, an avid Hawk Nelson fan (though my favorite band changes every so often), and a klutz whose name means 'one of grace'.  I'm Anna.

A lot cooler, right?  Well, the first paragraph was the real me.  No more identity crises, okay?  'Cause I know who I am now.  I'm Anna -- the one God made to be her.  Not the fashionista -- the one who wears rainboots with shorts.  Not the dancer -- the singer.  Not the popular one -- the one that reaches out.  Not someone who hides in the crowd -- the one that's meant to stand out.  That's who I am in Christ.