You open up Your arms // and give me a new start // i need You // i need You more than my next breath
Cussing gets on my nerves. It just does. It's unnecessary, rude, and pretty much pointless. I've always felt that way. And I never thought I would fall to such cheap tactics. Never say never, though.
Yesterday -- I slipped. I am so ashamed to admit it, but God saw it, so you guys might as well know, too.
Now, I'm not trying to make excuses, but I want you to get the whole back story. There's this kid in my gym class that really gets under my skin. He's immature and just plain makes me angry. Most freshman guys do, but his case of being annoying is ten times worse. He was running his mouth (as usual), but for some reason, I just couldn't handle it. Normally, I tend to let it roll off my back, but yesterday, it stuck. And as I entered the locker room, I shouted, "Shut the **** up!"
All the girls stopped what they were doing to look at me, mouths hanging open from pure astonishment. I literally wanted to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. Anna, the Jesus freak, had just cursed. I immediately started apologizing, but most of them just laughed it off. Some people even told me they were proud of me. But I felt awful about it. I had just bruised my reputation... and even worse -- my witness.
I always have to have music playing to lull me to sleep. Call me weird, but I have to. Silence drives me crazy. So last night, I stuck in 'Crazy Love' by Hawk Nelson. And track four let me know even when I slip up, when make a mistake, even when I cuss -- He loves me anyway.
i know that i am loved // 'cause You bought me with your blood // i need You // i need you more than my next breath
