You open up Your arms // and give me a new start // i need You // i need You more than my next breath
Cussing gets on my nerves. It just does. It's unnecessary, rude, and pretty much pointless. I've always felt that way. And I never thought I would fall to such cheap tactics. Never say never, though.
Yesterday -- I slipped. I am so ashamed to admit it, but God saw it, so you guys might as well know, too.
Now, I'm not trying to make excuses, but I want you to get the whole back story. There's this kid in my gym class that really gets under my skin. He's immature and just plain makes me angry. Most freshman guys do, but his case of being annoying is ten times worse. He was running his mouth (as usual), but for some reason, I just couldn't handle it. Normally, I tend to let it roll off my back, but yesterday, it stuck. And as I entered the locker room, I shouted, "Shut the **** up!"
All the girls stopped what they were doing to look at me, mouths hanging open from pure astonishment. I literally wanted to crawl in a hole and die of embarrassment. Anna, the Jesus freak, had just cursed. I immediately started apologizing, but most of them just laughed it off. Some people even told me they were proud of me. But I felt awful about it. I had just bruised my reputation... and even worse -- my witness.
I always have to have music playing to lull me to sleep. Call me weird, but I have to. Silence drives me crazy. So last night, I stuck in 'Crazy Love' by Hawk Nelson. And track four let me know even when I slip up, when make a mistake, even when I cuss -- He loves me anyway.
i know that i am loved // 'cause You bought me with your blood // i need You // i need you more than my next breath
10 comments:
That gets on my nerves too. I am glad your not hiding it and making excuses. I am glad that you hated what you did.
Hey girl.....I'm so proud of you for acknowledging what you did!!! Jesus still loves you, as do I. (:
Don't worry about your reputation with those other girls---Jesus knows you're sorry, and that's all that matters.
Love ya,
~Lily
Thank you for being so open and honest Anna. Its hard to strive to live for Christ under the world's great pressure. Yes, Jesus forgives you and covers you with grace and mercy.
love you girl!♥
I know how you feel. I've slipped a couple of times, too. But I don't understand -- what is there at all that's cool about swearing? It sounds ick. No-one even laughs over here. My class -- well, a couple of people in it -- speak these words as if they're among the only ones they know.
...and for some people, maybe it is all they know.
Maybe we need to teach them, show them -- a new vocabulary.
And yeah! Jesus loves us anyway. ♥
Yeah, I think cussing is just worthless, and when someone is spewing cuss words out constantly, I lose respect for them. But it's understandable to just slip sometimes! Especially when you go to public high school, girl, where everybody thinks its the coolest thing to swear, so it's all you hear all day! But like Lily said, it's awesome that you acknowledge it; and of course, we all still love you!! Pffft, I'm the farthest thing from perfect, always slipping here and there in things, so it's all too easy to understand your moment there ;) Love ya!
~Lauren :)
Anna you're amazing for posting this. I can't STAND cussing either; the same thing happened to me just a month ago... in gym class too! I broke a rule during a game we were playing and my friend started *friendly* teasing me about how naughty I was. Then I started naming off all the things that she has said and done that were completely horrible... then I accidently repeated something I had heard her say. It was horrible... it included the f word.... It just slipped right out! Right after I said it (it was pretty loud) I felt so horrible. Everyone was cheering me on and telling me they were proud, because I'm known to never ever cuss. But I couldn't forgive myself!
I am so thankful for God's love and that he can forgive me, even if I do cuss.
I love how honest you are. That takes courage.
My name is Erica, and I am just getting started in the blog world. I would appreciate it if you stopped by and shared your thoughts on my blog!
I agree, the majority of grade 9 guys are so annoying! :) I also hate cussing, and never do it. But when you hear it at school, it's hard to not get it in your head. Don't worry Anna, everyone makes mistakes! :)
Anna, I must say, girl, that I am proud of you. Most people wouldn't admit that they did something like that, especially in front of Christian peers - people just don't do it.
But oh man, cussing gets under my skin too; and I'm homeschooled, so the only times I hear it is on TV - and that's completely my fault! I can't remember cussing, but I've accidentally used God's name in vain once or twice, and dude....I am SO ashamed. God created me, saved me, loves me, cares for me, keeps me alive, lifts me up...and yet I used His name in vain...can't get much worse than that.
The only comfort we find when we are in this situation is the everlasting comfort that we receive when we beg forgiveness and know we've received it. Praise God for this comfort! Praise God for His forgiveness!
Happy Resurrection Day, my friend! Keep following Him!
In Christ alone, Buttercup
Hey, Anna.
I agree - cussing annoys me too. But I'd have to say I've let one slip - more than once. And yeah, it's embarrassing - even in my case when there wasn't anyone around. So I really appreciate your honesty in this blog post.
I used to be proud that I'd never said a cuss word. But I realize now that I shouldn't have been proud. Believe it or not, God used those instances where I swore to show me that I'm human. That may not be the case for you, but I just want to encourage you that you are forgiven. We're all imperfect, and we just need to rely on the One who is. We're all forgiven - each and every one of us. Even when we make mistakes. Especially when we make mistakes.
Don't worry about the past. Just move on and rest in His glorious grace. There's more than enough for all of us. And yeah... we really need it. :)
Love,
-Kylie
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