I have a confession to make.
Hi, my name is Anna. I'm four days away from being sixteen and I love the band Lemonade Mouth.
*laughs* Like ya'll are gonna judge me for that. I should know better by now. Silly me. *shakes head*
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Now that that's out of the way, let's continue to the real reason for this post.
Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, that 'confession' above has a lot to do with this post. I really worry about what people think of me. I mean, yes, you should care to a certain extent. As in they know you're a Christian and you're different because Jesus' is in you. But I care way beyond that. I care about what they think about my hair, my complexion, my clothes, my grades..everything? And I shouldn't. You can't live your life trying to please everyone. 'Cause it's just not gonna happen.
Consequently, I've always kind of.. hid, I guess. I've always shied away from the spotlight or anything moderately close to it. Take my singing for example. Yes, I sing special music at church. I've been in choirs. I've had solos in school programs. I sing when I'm jamming with my friends. But the fear of people saying I'm awful or not liking my voice has kept me from using my talent to it's fullest. I'm not trying to brag on myself here (please, please, please don't take it that way!), but I can sing well. Very well. And the only ones that get to hear it are my shower head and my parents. The rest of the world sees a girl that can keep a tune and sings alright, not recording material.
That would be fine, I guess..that is, if I didn't wanna be a singer. *takes deep breath* Did I just type that? I did. Oh, gosh.
See, I haven't admitted this to many people (feel loved!) -- I know most everyone would shoot it down, telling me it's a one-in-a-million chance blah blah blah blah blah. So I've kept it deep inside my heart, pondering the thought for at least three years or so. Til today.
It's not like I want to be a teen sensation like Justin Bieber or a good-girl-gone-bad like Miley. I don't want to be on the cover of People or anything or sell a million records. I'd just like to write songs about what I've gone through and share them with the world. About what God's done for me. About a kid with beautiful eyes. About embracing today. About wanting to change the world so bad you write a post about it.
I want them to know I'm not just the freaky Jesus girl in the corner. I have a life that's real and important and a purpose for living like I do. That God isn't a big, unconcerned guy that sits up in the clouds doing nothing. That I'm waiting on a guy that might never feel the same way. That I want to be seen. That I want to change the world.
That I want to determinate.
"Gotta turn the world into your dance floor, determinate, d-d-terminate. Push it til you can't and then demand more, d-d-terminate. You and me together, we can make it better. Gotta turn the world into your dance floor, determinate, d-d-terminate!" -Lemonade Mouth
11 comments:
I know how you feel :) People tell me I can sing, I've also had people say that they can imagine me becoming a famous singer, but I am always afraid of ridicule. I WANT to use the talents God gave me to give glory to Him but I am afraid.
You're not alone and hey, I love Lemonade Mouth also ;)
you would be super good at it :)
wow Anna. This post is amazing. I have always wanted to be a singer too. A country singer to be exact. ;) But the problem is is that I can't sing. :( My voice sounds like nails on a chalkboard...seriously. I'm working on it though.
If it is your dream to become a singer...then go for it girl!! Follow you dream(as long as it is what God wants for you). :)
big hugs, xxxx~Kelsey
p.s. I'm 18 and I love Lemonade Mouth! :D
Oh my goodness, Anna, this post is amazing. You are so incredibly honest. I want to sing more in front of people too, but i'm afraid. You honestly inspire me Anna. Chase your singing dreams. I will pray for you.
Talia
Anna, this post is great! I feel the same way too. I feel like people are going to judge me if I don't have my hair looking good, or if I don't have mascara on. But don't all teenagers feel that way?
I think you'd be good at singing! Don't give up on your dream!
<3 Hayley
i know how you feel, anna...i've always had a desire to sing for everyone to hear, but something held me back and made me a little embarrassed and scared. my vocal teacher finally got me to sing in a talent show last year, i was extremely nervous, but i *think* i did well enough.=) since then i haven't been as nervous about that type of thing. i mean hey, you never know till you try.=)
i say, use the talent God's given to you, and as long as you use it for HIS glory, get out there and sing you heart out. the only bad thing that can happen is that a jealous soul out there will try to make you feel unhappy like themself. don't let them snag you:)
anyways, i'm totally supporting you, dear.<3 love you!
That's an awesome dream. ^^ Definitely go for it.
I hope one of these days I can have the confidence to actually post something real like that.
I'd love to so something with music too (although my singing isn't near that stage at all, currently), but am I brave enough to go for it? Some days, yes, but some days I wonder.
Don't give up! :D
confession: I love Lemonade Mouth too. I seriously almost cried at the end.
confession: I think you're an amazing singer and you SHOULD go live your dream (wink wink)
confession: you write such meaningful songs!
confession: you are going to change the world.....and you already have <3
"if you don't chase your dreams, you'll never catch them."
and ya know what? you're so chasing them, anna. and you know something else i've noticed? we're afraid to do things. but then, one day, it's like, suddenly it just comes naturally. like God's timing is just perfect. because it is.
I say we start a band(:
{This sounds so similar to my post a couple months ago: http://jsheaa.blogspot.com/2011/05/live-beautifullydream-passionatelylove.html ]
Jesus will do great things with you!
You are such an inspiration, and I believe that you have got to live life out of your comfort zone..
JUST GO FOR IT!
you got this(:
You're not alone, I know I'm like that too. I'd like to be more outgoing and courageous, especially for God, and not care so much about other people's opinion of me. And about your singing career, I know this may sound cheesy, but reach for your dreams! If it's your passion, follow it! :)
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